I wasn’t quite sure how that affected me but he told me that over the next few weeks he had the loan of lots of camera equipment, lights, and sound equipment with which to produce a film for his final assessment. However, as an ‘extra’, he’d been approached by a guy who made and rented out ‘stag’ films. He reckoned it was a growth market and pretty lucrative. Nick asked if I was still as keen as I had been on sex and would I be interested in making a film with him and a couple of other guys? He said that if I was we’ll meet up somewhere and discuss it in detail. What did I think? Well, I have to say I was quite intrigued so I said I’d get back to him the next day. I thought about it quite a lot that night as I gently wanked myself and, because, I wasn’t yet in another sexual relationship and could fancy a bit something a bit different I decided to say yes. I rang Nick back the next day and said I’d be willing to talk it through with him; what, exactly, it would it entail for. At least I started to follow it. I remember seeing something from the left corner of my eye. Then the dreams, the nightmares, the hallucinations, the pain, and the misery became my constant companions. I remember seeing my family, I think. I remember people talking to me. It's funny that I could understand each word, but the words didn't make any sense collectively. They were just words, nothing more.Everything ran together, like I was jumping from one dream, or nightmare, to the next. I never felt like I was awake, or lucid. Eventually, a part of me realized it wasn't real, that my world at present was simply a place in my mind. It didn't stop the pain, or the nightmares, but it did lessen the misery.I opened my eyes. This was different. I could see walls and a ceiling. I could hear a voice that made sense as I listened! I began a mental rundown of my body. I could wiggle my toes. That was good. Then I tried my fingers and to my relief, they worked! The pain was a dull, constant.
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