I laid down on the cot, it wasn’t the most comfortable bed I’d ever slept in, but it will make do.“Goodnight, Mr. Ford,” came Emily's voice from over the bed.“Goodnight, see you in the morning,” I answered her.I had just begun to drift away into sleep when Emily's voice interrupted my rest. “Mr. Ford?” she asked quietly. “Are you still awake?”“Barely,” I answered.“Sorry,” she giggled softly. “I was just wondering...are you sure you are ok there on that little cot?”I opened up my eyes. Emily was staring at me over the edge of the bed. Her long dark black hair fell over the side of the bed, almost touching the floor. I couldn’t quite see her big brown eyes in the darkness, but from what I could make out, I knew they were looking at me. I did not doubt that she wore that pretty little smile, the one that she always used when she was trying to butter up her dad before asking for something.“It’s alright. It’ll be ok for the night,” I confirmed, slowly shutting my eyes again.“I’m kinda. I’ve a hunch it’ll be me.As a kid I was made to walk the plank.We couldn’t afford a dog.From a Friend of J & G.JokesRecession beater. Wife says to husband “If you start riding that new bicycle I bought for you to work, we can get rid of the second car”. He replies “If you take it up the arse and let me cum on your face, we can get rid of the nanny!”We discussed the issue for an hour with both sides of the debate having their say. Eventually we held a vote and there were five “Yes’s” and only one “No”. It was a beautiful demonstration of democracy in action. Or gang rape as the police put it.A bloke is sunbathing with nothing but a hat covering his penis. Two women walk past and one shouts “if you were a gentleman you would lift your hat to a lady!” The bloke replies “if you weren’t so ugly the hat would lift itself!”Me: “I can’t believe they’re back together after all that shit”. Wife: “Who?” Me: “My arse cheeks”“So let me get this straight” the prosecutor says to the defendant. “You.
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