I find myself taking the backseat in our relationship and it worries me that I may now be the bottomto Poppy's top. Not that we have had sex, that can't happen. I couldhardly go back to being a man in his 30s after; despite my currentphysical reality it wouldn't be right. Just another experience I am aboutto deny Emma.I find I am checking myself out in the mirror more often, and in less andless clothes. I think I used to be frightened about how I would react toEmma's body, now it is feeling more a part of me I worry less. I dowonder what it is that the staring boys are looking at? How does my bodymatch up to others? The boobs are a little small, but not a bad shape. Mylegs are skinny and nobly to my eyes, but I know Poppy likes them. I turnsideways on and wonder about the size of my bum. Fuck, I really am goingfull method on this.The biggest downside is that I am now no longer talking to Noah. I seehim every now and then but he's always off in the distance. I think aboutgoing down to. A dim blue glow came from inside, he had obviously forgotten to switch off his computer. Grumbling, Lewis walked in, stepping over the dirty clothes and strewn magazines and CDs that lay scattered on the floor. Wanda never came to tidy this room as a personal rule. She claimed it was because a boy like Jack needed his own space, his own privacy. Lewis was half-tempted to suggest that she didn’t want to take up the task because it would be so mammoth. As he bent over to turn off the flat computer screen a tiny box popped up in the middle announcing the arrival of an email. Lewis froze. He immediately knew what he wanted to do and was a little ashamed of it. It wouldn’t be right or fair to read his son’s emails. They were private and it would be an incredible invasion of that privacy to not even turn around and walk away. Yet Lewis stayed where he was. Lianne was not the only family member who didn’t talk to him about things that bothered her. If he was honest with himself he had no.
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