It just felt different this time. There's that. I'm writing this down to get if off my chest, because it's been bugging me ever since it happened. I don't really know how to put it into words or where to start. It's so difficult, but I'll have to give you some explanation, I suppose. I never told anyone, not even you. Out of fear someone might read you? But this is ridiculous. Neither my parents nor Larissa know that you even exist, so why would anyone of them read you? Also they don't know I added a false bottom to my drawer where I keep the key to the lock which is sealing your figurative mouth. I know it doesn't matter to you since you are patient and probably won't even notice me doing it, but I'll have to take a deep breath or two before writing everything down. Alright, I'm letting the cat out of the bag. I masturbate to thoughts about Mr. Joules, our neighbor. I know it's pathetic, because he's happily married and more than twice my age and has kids of his own who are already. I ducked back inside grabbed a can of ammo, came back up and changed it as fast as I could then I was back in business...I woke up and swore, "What fucking bus hit me?"Then I remembered that Banzai nailed me with a morphine shot. I looked down saw I was covered in blood and feared the worst. Then I realized I was lying on top of the bloody injured gunner. I moved to the side and began to put pressure dressings on his wounds and yelled at the driver, "If we don't get your gunner to a hospital soon, it's going to be too late."Banzai somehow heard me because he ducked inside and said, "Jack, you take over Ma Deuce for a few minutes and I will start an IV for the gunner."I complained, "I hope like hell I don't have to change any ammo cans."Banzai informed me, "You have a fresh can in Ma Deuce so you should be fine until I can take over. Here are the hearing protectors now move your ass!"I normally didn't care much for a Ma Deuce, but firing this one while more than half stoned from the.
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