" I had that excuse ready. But my crotch hurt and I was nearly comatose from exhaustion. How was I going to endure fucking this man, my husband, that night? "Where are the children?" Soccer practice. Could you pick them up? I have to work on my sermon."I might never have made the mistake of getting married to the preacher if I had read Middlemarch as a teenager. When I finally read the book, it hit me like a brick falling from a third story window. Middlemarch's heroine, Dorothea Brooke, was me! And being moral and good and idealistic I married Reverend Casaubon, the older man who would be my guide and protector and soul mate. I would be his beloved helpmate and together we would make the world a better place. And like Dorothea I discovered that the preacher, my Casaubon, was shallow, controlling, lazy, and devoted to petty things of little moment.But with this awful knowledge in my frontal lobes, what could I do? Like a million other women I was trapped in the marriage. I couldn't –. “For sure I’m not telling everything. A part of the agreement that made it possible for me to come here, was that I’ll never tell exactly where I come from, or who my father is. I have no illusions that the lady of the manor could get my mother killed if her own secrets should come out.”I had been very careful now, not to add any magic push to my words, but now I hid some convincing thoughts behind the anger I tried to show. What I had seen about this place seemed way too good to be true, almost perfect for me. I wanted a room in this house!“So, Stian, how many times have you been in the same bed with two woman making love?”I was prepared for almost anything. Almost. But that question made my head spin and, for a moment, I wasn’t able to form any coherent thought. I might as well have admitted everything, since I was sure that Mrs. Hansen was able to read it from my face. You didn’t need magic, if you were good. Mrs. Hansen was good. Then Alva started giggling and Mrs. Hansen also.
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