I know you know what I mean by that, too.”I nodded, “Working very closely together, and spending time together without a third person around.”“Just watch yourself, Steve. If you feel uncomfortable in ANY way, just have someone else join those meetings. I think you have an assistant who handles most of your routine work for you?”“Yes; that’s Kimmy.”“She’s probably a good person to have around. Or Elyse. Neither of them would offend your sister because they’re close, intimate members of your inner circle.”“Got it.”“And the kids?” Doctor Mercer asked.“Every day is a new challenge! May I ask you something?”“Sure.”“Do you think there’s an issue with us letting Jesse, Matthew, and Birgit walk to school and take the younger siblings with them, and pick up some friends along the way?”“How far?”“Six or seven blocks, depending on how they walk.”“If I recall from my visits to Chicago, you’re in a pretty safe neighborhood.”“Yes,” I replied firmly.“Your kids are all intelligent and I’m sure. Am I alone? Am I really alone? The hallway so long, so far to the washroom, so many whispers. ‘Rene…’ the singular word escaping my lips, was it me? Did I say it? I feel so unsteady and I brace myself against the wall. I can feel my hip bone pressing against the cool surface, skin against bone. Making my way in the shadows, tapping the wall until I find the doorway, the exit towards the toilet. I can feel her, her breath on my neck, hands gliding down my waist. She is kissing me here. Tongue to shoulder blade, her hips against my backside, pressing me against the wood. Fingers quick and smooth, across my belly, so warm. I turn on the faucet, the water rushing from the tap, so urgent, so desperate, it feels so cold. My feet are so cold, the tile biting my toes, my only sensitivity, my extremities. In the dark I can see her, she is looking at me, she has come to me, she has come back. As I place my glasses to my head, it all becomes so desperately clear. A mirror image, it is my own.
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