I had an internal battle too. Perhaps 'confusion' would be better. I hated the idea she might find someone else and leave me alone, but the thought of making a lifetime commitment was equally daunting. I became sure, though, that a lifetime commitment – marriage – was what I wanted. It was just ... finding the right moment.I wasn't poor. Because of my parents' deaths, I had the house and a certain amount of capital, so I hadn't needed student loans. On the other hand I wasn't wealthy either and I was very careful how I spent my money. While we're on the subject, I certainly had no reservations about Rose-Marie's 'running costs'. She was definitely not in the 'high maintenance' category. I don't know if that was really a factor. Anyway, I went looking for a ring, eventually finding one I thought might do; an amethyst set with small diamonds in gold. I thought it simple, elegant and lovely, like my beloved. I carried the box in my pocket for several weeks.One day in early July, Dulcie. ‘That stuff is so interesting. I’m sure you’re really enjoying it. What’s your paper about?’ ‘Oh, you know, it’s a research paper. They’re all about the same. Just a lot of references to stuff no one really understands or cares about.’ Jasmine couldn’t imagine that an aspiring scholar of literature wouldn’t care about the works he was no doubt discovering in his studies. ‘Okay, I guess.’ She inquired further. ‘Are you sure you’re really into it? If you don’t like doing research papers, how are you going to get through your thesis?’ Deon sighed. ‘Yes, Jasmine, I’m sure. I’m just a little burnt out. You understand that, don’t you?’ ‘Of course.’ ‘Alright then,’ he said with a note of finality to his voice. Jasmine knew to drop it. They walked back to the parking lot. ‘Well, Deon, I had a great time tonight,’ she said once they reached her car. He took her hand in his, and drew her close, then kissed her. ‘Me, too,’ he said. ‘We’ll have to do it again sometime.’ Jasmine raised her.
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