We had been out for almost three hours and four bottles of sake when Amanda finally addressed the elephant in the room. “So, are you still seeing that girl Renee?”“Quite a lot actually.” I smiled, continuing my theme of 100% honesty.“Oh!” she sat quietly for a moment and poured herself another glass. “Did you sleep with her?”“I did sleep with her, yes.” I paused to savor Amanda’s anticipation. “But we have not had sex yet.” I laughed.Amanda was hard to get a read on. Maybe it was because she was older than Renee. Maybe she was better at disguising her emotions, or maybe it was just that she was genuinely fascinated by what I was doing. “Do you think you ever will?” she asked.“I don’t know. Really it’s up to her I guess. She has a boyfriend, so I guess it all depends on what her moral compass will allow.”“Yeah, she has a boyfriend, but she makes out with you and gives you hand jobs? I don’t get her.” She sighed.“She doesn’t get you either.” I said.“What? I’m single. I can do whatever. It fed insecurity I felt at the time. I'm sure she read that on my face because of how she responded."Well, don't worry about young boys. They don't know a thing about girls until they are in their 20s. And you are so beautiful, I'm sure he was scared to do something wrong." It made me feel so good that she thought I was beautiful. "Would you like to try something with me?" I felt a pang of adrenaline. My cheeks flushed, I could feel the heat. I nodded, feeling super vulnerable and super excited."Come over here, then." We sat on her golden chaise lounge. It was a romantically beautiful piece of furniture to my eyes, like something from a Jane Austen novel. "What would you like to do, would you like to explore my body?" All that came to mind was the way she swayed when she walked by me in her skirt and how much I wanted to see what she looked like underneath. I wanted to lift her skirt up and explore between her legs. It seems so clumsy now. I didn't know how to say it out loud, so I.
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