Hinch, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news,’ he already knew that Caron was dead. It was the compassion in her eyes, the sadness in the set of her face, the whole attitude of the young policewoman’s body that told him. He didn’t break down immediately. Somehow he made the arrangements, got to the funeral, he was even able to get to the part where he was supposed to speak… and couldn’t. He couldn’t see anyone through the tears, he couldn’t speak through the boulder lodged in his throat. Someone – he still didn’t know who, probably Bob, his boss – got him down from the dais. Someone else, Elizabeth he thought, had comforted him. Tomorrow it would be six months. Just as he’d managed to survive yesterday, in a bubble where no one could touch him, and where he didn’t make any real contact with anyone else, he still had to get through today. Elizabeth, his assistant, would look with compassion in her eyes at him from across the desks they shared, and he would, once again, refuse to engage. Oh God, in my crotch, like I was glowing down there or something, like I never felt that way before, I was getting all hot and cold at the same time, and I knew I was in danger of crying or something, and I wasn't sure why.And then we were at Aunt Sadie's and he parked the car, and he turned around in his seat to face me, and he didn't say anything, he was just like looking at me so strange, like he couldn't move or something, it felt like he was just gonna sit there forever and look at me, his whole body was so still, like a statue, the only part of him that was moving was his eyes, they just kept going back and forth real fast, like he was trying to fit my whole body in his vision at one time. And then he was holding my hand, and telling me how beautiful I was, and kissing my hand. And it was like all the romantic things I had ever heard about or read about, all wrapped up in that one perfect moment, and I tried to think what was the most romantic thing that had happened to me.
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