“What’s wrong with it?”“Can’t you see, it’s swollen?”The doctor ran out of the room!We Miss Rodney DangerfieldWith my old man I got no respect. I asked him, “How can I get my kite in the air?” He told me to run off a cliff.It’s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won’t drink from my glass!Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.A girl phoned me and said, ‘Come on over. There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home!A hooker once told me she had a headache.I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, ‘Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?’ She said, ‘No, I hate myself now.’My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves.I’m so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got arrested for mooning.The other day I came home early and a guy was jogging, naked. I asked him, ‘Why?’ He said, ‘Because you came. Since Celia is friends with bath Debra and Bipasha, I did said not a thing, and let them do the talking, explaining and apologizing. I was thinking more of a panicky plan what I should come up with as a story for Tom, and the others on about how my date went.Debra, was awake by now and started with a “Oh hai Celia, I have forgotten that you were coming by this morning. Sorry I am running late. As you can see, the date went very well.Celia started to say something first stuttering, face from angry to smiling and back to angry, did not know what to think of it, but I used the ostrich tactics and closed my eyes again, pretending not to be here.“Holy fuck Deb, what a mess, what have you been doing, well take that back, it is obvious of course, you are grown woman, but you move fast, a romantic dinner date? On the first date and having an orgy within hours of leaving for the restaurant, with your date and the waitress of the restaurant, we had you all wrong; you are a beast, a hot horny.
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