” I said as I began face-fucking her in earnest while lightly choking her with my hands around her throat. “If I loaned your time or your body to someone else, it wouldn’t change that. It would simply be a test of your obedience to me. You would be doing it because I ordered it. It would be different if you were cheating on me and setting out to get affection from someone else. I’m talking about the dream, Karen. You exist to please me. If it pleases me to see you get the shit fucked out of you by the gardener, you would obey,” I said.“I love The Dream, Master! I really do!” Karen agreed, and I think that was the first time she’d said it in exactly the way I felt about it. Like THE DREAM was a title and not just a super hot memory to us both. Unfortunately, she attempted to put a damper on things by reminding me, “But if you don’t untie me soon, Sir, Joe is going to come home from football practice and walk in that door!”“I thought we had the house to ourselves this weekend?” I. Yet I sense that powerful brutality lurking beneath his benign facade; a brutality I instinctively know I must evade.“How much longer do I have to be here?” I ask tonight. Thinking about all of this has renewed my fear. It terrifies me I don’t have as much interest in fleeing from this bedroom anymore.He starts, almost as if he’s surprised by the question. “Until you’re no longer needed.”“How much have you made off of me by now? A hundred grand? Two?”He gives nothing away, but I’d bet it’s even more than that.“It’s time for bed.” He waits until I’m in bed and under the covers before he flips the lights off.Before I can say goodnight with sarcasm, he’s locked me in. How macabre this little pantomime of ours is--he all but tucks me into bed, his little prisoner.And I can’t deny that I play it all over and over again in my mind until morning.I lose privacy privileges again a few days later. I smashed the mirror in the bathroom and cut a wrist with a shard.I’m not suicidal, but I do have.
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