If it ever comes out what I've done, this story will probably turn up as evidence. Maybe some of the things I explain here sound like excuses. Maybe I'm even hoping they are excuses. I'm not stupid enough to think the law would consider them ameliorating.I don't consider myself a rapist. In the strictest sense of the word, I am. That is to say that anyone who commits a rape at any time in their life is a rapist. It's like the old joke. Build a thousand bridges, they don't call you "Joe the Bridge Builder," Raise three strong boys, they don't call you "Joe the Father," but you fuck one sheep...Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that I didn't go into Ellen's room with rape in my heart. I was trying to see her naked and maybe you don't see the difference, but it's a pretty big one.It was early Saturday morning, a few hours after midnight, when I decided I'd had enough fun for one night. After a full day of soul-grinding work, I'd gone to Sully's, a neighborhood bar popular with college. I’ll need to be there all morning. After that, I will be having lunch with Professor Rhineburg. I’ll need to coordinate things with him but expect me to be tied up all day tomorrow with the conference and the professor.”Captain Summers didn’t look happy, but he seemed to understand. His plans were for pictures of me doing something both military and scientific for the next two days. He wanted to see if I could give a lecture at the Pentagon, for Christ’s sake! To whom, it wasn’t clear. “All right.”“Tonight, the professor comes into town. I’ll need to be here to greet him, and at least offer to take him to dinner. If he accepts, that ties up this evening. He’s the only reason I’m here, Captain, so we have to offer and do this. He could be difficult otherwise.” Okay, professor, I’m throwing you under the bus a bit, but what you don’t know won’t hurt you. Anything to keep me away from this publicity idiot.“Okay.”“And there are several lectures this afternoon that I would certainly like.
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