‘General, with respect, there is no other way that I can see. Pel has a decent plan. It has the virtue of being the best choice among no good ones.’ Kress kept her tone formal but gentle. She knew what the likely outcome was and she knew her commander. Pel straightened atop her horse. ‘I volunteer.’ In slow but certain succession, every other voice did the same. ‘Someone has to have the best chance of getting where we need to be and that needs be you.’ Neral looked at Kress with those lines of stress and age beginning to leave deeper furrows at her temples, but those eyes still burning with a zeal for life and it weighed on her as it always did because with all volunteering it was now left to her to choose. If any of the choices could be said to be easy, one was. Kress was the most experienced aside from Neral herself and she would be needed. More than that, she wanted to go. It was in her eyes that Neral had learned to read so long ago. Neral tilted her head in Maylin’s direction. The definition came from having very little body fat. I was often teased at the beach. I was ghostly white with pronounced ribs, jutting hipbones, and if I flexed, you could count my abs and see my tendons and veins. Ha! What I would give to see those abs again! As the 2000s came around, I was having kind of a mid-life crisis. I was pushing 40 and long gone was my “twinkiness.” I was exclusively watching gay or transsexual videos/pictures. I became obsessed and confused. I’m not sure if I was being brainwashed, but my feminine side was clawing its way to the surface and my thoughts were changing. I knew there was zero chance of ever following through with a transition. Of course I wouldn’t get breast implants. Of course I wouldn’t take hormones. Of course I wouldn’t leave the house dressed like a woman. First off, I’m just too damn shy and self-conscious about that. Secondly, my family is very conservative and I’d be disowned—written out of the will. Guaranteed. Third off, my.
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