He caressed my shoulders, my neck, my hair. It made me feel wonderful. It made me feel terrible. It made me feel like I had to do more. ‘Let’s go to dinner, Dr. Goldberg. There’s more I want to say.’ I didn’t order a drink. I just asked for a glass of water. This hadn’t been about drinking but I couldn’t work up any enthusiasm for it. ‘You haven’t called me ‘fifths’ for a while. Is there any special reason for that?’ ‘It’s not a special reason. The name was what you did, who you were. You’ve been back around two and a half weeks and we’ve had two big blow ups already. I think I’ve made an effort, but it feels like you’re backing away from me.’ ‘I guess I have been,’ I said. ‘Well, you’re entitled to. It’s not like we’ve made a commitment to spend the rest of our lives together. And even if we did, people aren’t held to that anymore.’ He was trying to sound understanding and accepting but I could hear the weight on his heart. He thought this was the beginning of the end. He would do. "We didn't need them stomping all over the crime scene, making up silly stuff, on the spot, trying to gin up viewers, and generally sticking microphones in the face of exhausted first responders, who are fragile already from sorting through body parts."If they get angry, blame the NTSB, FBI, and local police, then let it roll off your back." I was feeling a little frisky having spent so much time mourning the dead, feeling the guilt because none of them would have been there if it hadn't been for me. I was working myself into a quiet rage, so I would stay at the task of revenge until it was complete.Charles laughed and said, "I bet I could play that card and get away with it, at least once." We chatted about my intention to attend every funeral, and visit the families of the dead and seriously injured. He liked that and said he'd see me at some of the funerals.After he hung up I got to wondering why Charles would leave those things to me.Rick was waiting when I came downstairs for.
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