She was also quite sure she'd never be sorry it was Bob Hawkins who was her first, even if it had ended unhappily.As she put her head on her pillow, Cecelia thought that mourning the fact that she hadn't thought out losing her virginity wouldn't fix anything. And mourning the fact that her stubborn attitude toward how she felt about Bob had affected the kids wouldn't solve anything.Just before she drifted off to sleep, her last waking thought was that both situations COULD be rectified with more thorough planning and preparation.Because his gardens were so extensive, Bob used an under-layment covered by mulch, to avoid most weeds. But there were always a few that defeated the black porous cloth he put around most of his plants, and he always had weeds to pull. In a way it worked out for him, because whenever Bob was down about something, pulling weeds seemed to soothe him.He was jerking them with a vengeance Saturday afternoon, thinking of each one of them as his own traitorous penis. Alex was so handsome. He was tall for his age and at 15 the effects of puberty were evident. He was a ginger boy, red haired with faint freckles. Though he had his uniform on, he had taken his top off as he hit the stairs to come up to his room. I remember everything about that moment. His unusually heavy tuft of reddish armpit hair was sweaty. His uniform was dirty around his butt and crotch. He smelled stinky from this puberty thing I did not yet know about. I met him as he came upstairs watching his movements. I remember looking at his crotch wondering if I'd ever get to see his privates.As he turned to go towards his room he turned back and asked if we had anything to eat. I smiled and said that I'd made some of the soup mom taught me how to make and sandwich in the fridge. I did most of the cooking since mom, it seemed, was never home. He stared back at me and it just was a different stare than he had done. There was something in the air more than the smells of his puberty.
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