I motioned to the chair. A.J. excused herself to go to the ladies' room."I hope I'm not being pushy," Leah said. "But you're attractive, and I'minterested, so why play games?"I grinned. "I think it's nice," I said.She looked at me. "Alex? Alex, have you ever been with a strong woman? Imean, really strong." Well, Colleen..."She let go of a burst of laugher. "Colleen is a marshmallow," she said."She's a girly girl. A lipstick lesbian, the phrase is. I'm the bad girlin the Disney movie. I'm the girl on the motorcycle. I'm the girl whokisses you in church." Sounds fun," I said. But inside, I admit, I felt some nerves. Thiswoman was so different from Colleen."Oh, it is fun. I promise you fun. Now, dance with me."It wasn't a request. She stood, taller than me by a couple of inches,dark, menacing. As we danced, she led. There were eyes on us from aroundthe bar, some curious, some envious."Alexis, have you ever had a mistress?" she smiled."Um, no," I said. "I've only had one lesbian lover,. He came and sat next to the chair I was sitting on,and held my hand. It felt comforting, although I wish it didn't. Itold them, "Mom says I can go home tomorrow. I am so ready to get outof here." Some of the speech patterns were flowing out- it was weird tohave my own mind, but to talk like Tanya. We sat and talked for awhile, and then they left. Peter said, "That new movie we were talkingabout seeing is out on Saturday. Do you want to go?" I didn't knowwhat to say. I had to say something. I finally said, "I don't know ifI'll feel up to it by then. We'll see how it goes." Since my Mom wasout of the room, Peter went to kiss me, but I only let him kiss mycheek. I was shocked that I even did that, but it was a mixed reactionfrom the old and new me. They left.Mom came back in. She saw me staring out the window, with tears in myeyes, and said "I know this is hard. But, believe me, the onlyalternative you have is much worse." I wasn't sure that I wanted tothink about the.
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