Then she took another. For the size of her frame, it was a good thing she wasn’t driving tonight. ‘Wait a minute Marie. You have to grow from that. We were 20 years old then. We were pretty immature. Since then you’ve done so much, become so much. You can’t let this stop you. You survived your marriage. Even the first time I met again, you said you did the right things for your marriage, but it didn’t work out. You can’t do this to you. You’re very important, you’re so much better than that to beat yourself down.’ I suddenly stopped talking. I heard a click. It didn’t come from outside of me.It was from the inside. I understood what she was missing in a flash of understanding. It was not her, it was me. I finally realized my part of what was wrong and I stated to run toward the end of the dock. The water was going to immediately feel cold, but we were going to be clean and refreshed after the shock. ‘Your problem isn’t with you.’ I moved closer to her and held her hand. ‘Once again,. I let myself in and as soon as I was in the inky kitchen,I started slipping into total panic mode. I tried to walk softly,silently. Nerves warned me someone in the house, or some subtledifference in the air. Maybe I detected breathing so low I felt itrather than heard it. Or a heartbeat. Someone who wasn't supposed tobe in there, like the Shape from "Halloween," or some horrible revenantwould present itself as something or someone totally ordinary at first,only to become twisted and horrific in the shadows and snatch me awayto Hell forever.I was going to die. Death in the afternoon.The light. I had to find the light. Every time I blinked, I sawafterimages, dancing squares, the sunlit windows dancing in front ofdeep shadows. I stood in the living room doorway and felt around thewall, trying my best not to actually step into the room. My hand slidalong the wall, feeling every little bump. I was on the verge ofhyperventilating when my fingers finally found the wall switch. .
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