Growing in to be even more of a hormonal teenager none of those curiosities died out, they just intrigued me more and so I delved deeper into the gender, sexual identity, etc aspects of the world. Sometime during that time I discovered masturbating and sometime during that time (while also having access to the limited internet) I explored the concepts of “penetration” as they related to sex. Of course this meant playing with myself anally at the time, but oddly enough I never recall questioning how that related to my gender identity. I was biologically a boy, enjoyed masturbating and very thoroughly enjoyed anal stimulation. It wasn’t till the later years that started to question if my appreciation for anal pleasure tied in some way to my sexual preferences or sexual identity. I certainly didn’t reach any conclusions at the time but didn’t let the internal exploration of it worry me to much either. I knew I was attracted to girls and never really did get sexually excited by boys,. It just doesn’t need saying now.” A few seconds later she laughed softly. I looked at her and she said, “I’m so glad you stayed our first night.” “I was so glad you let me.” “I was so glad you wanted to. That one of you finally wanted to stay with me. It made me so happy, like something natural would finally come out of it. That it wasn’t just a sick fascination of mine.” “I wonder how many of the other five wanted to stay but just weren’t brave enough.” “The right one stayed. I just hope they’re brave enough next time.” A year later we went to the hotel bar one Friday night at 8:30. Jane was still working there and stared at me for a long second, then smiled in recognition and came over to say, “Long time, stranger.” She looked at Gloria and said, “I remember you. Faye and I wondered if you’d taken him off the market.” I nodded and handed her a twenty. “Two scotches.” She grinned and said, “I’m glad to see you’re still doing the ol’...” and jammed her index finger in the hole.
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