"Hush, Whatsin! She has a valid point." He turned to Maizie. "Well, my dear, do you think you can teach this duck how to walk... ladylike? There's an extra guinea in it for you if you succeed."Her face brightened. "Succeed? For an extra quid, I'll show ducky 'ere 'ow to do handsprings and leg splits!" Homes chuckled, picturing Whatsin attempting to try either.Whatsin grimaced. "Ducky, indeed. My word! Harumph!"Maizie said, as if hearing Whatsin's voice for the first time, "But I ain't no voice coach, guv'nor. If you want 'er voice to sound less like a frog's, you better gets someone else." Whatsin had had it. "First she calls me a duck, then a frog. I say Homes, you better stop her before she makes an ass out of me." Hee hee," Maizie giggled. "She's a regular menagerie, she is!"Homes looked at Whatsin. "That's she is, Maizie, that she is! Now, the evening latens, so let us get started."AN HOUR LATER and Whatsin was sashaying all over the room as well as any street walking prostitute. I'll show you a much better time."It's true that Julia is probably the shortest girl in 10th grade, and it could be that Betty is "twice as much girl" as Julia - what Betty lost by not being fully twice as tall as Julia she made up for by being amply packed out in the other two directions - but I don't think that total volume is the best way to choose girlfriends. Other than for breasts of course, but this probably wasn't a good time to start eyeing Betty's breasts.I could see bloodshed coming, but having my right arm in a sling made it almost impossible for me to stop Julia walking around behind me. Some of the spectators were even starting to laugh; a great help that was!I yelled, "JULIA STOP!"In the moment that she paused - and I could see it was only going to be for a moment - I gracefully (it's my middle name after all) swung both legs over the seat stood up and put my left arm all the way around her. She was as stiff as a board in my hug, and I could see that she was entirely.
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