Janice had started her job, and liked that a lot. Even though it was only supposed to be part-time she stayed most of the day as a way to avoid being at home alone. A couple of times she asked me to talk about sex while she played with herself until she got off. I guess she was pretty horny and felt funny asking Ronnie to help her.One night we decided to go up to the library to study. Ronnie needed a book for one of his classes and we felt like getting out of the dorm. Neither of us had ever been there before so we walked around for a while, checking it out.We found a quiet room with comfortable chairs arranged around small tables and I settled in to study while Ronnie looked for his book. There was only one other person in the room, a cute girl with short black hair. I kept looking at her trying to figure out where I'd seen her. When Ronnie got back, I noticed him looking at her too.After about an hour the girl got up and came over. She stood next to our table with her hands stuck. The prison I built consisted of my neat little world of no friends. Oh, I had neighbors and work associations but I would not let any close enough to be called a friend again. Not even my brothers or sisters. That in itself was not good for now, I have no one to turn to and share and confide in. A recipe for disaster and you can trust me on that. It’s now 20 years later and I am still with my wife. I used to tell people, and myself, ‘look how long we have been together’, it must be true love. True Love, I don’t even know if it exists for me any more. I know it did once, once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away. But now, all I have is a life I sentenced myself to because I was going to be responsible for the children I brought into this world. I am a Father and I am a Dad. I wanted to be part of their lives and not at the edge but the center as it should be. So I stayed. I sometimes wonder about this decision. Was it worth it? I am now turning 50 years old and my life is normal.
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