“James, the cop, Jamal, is black.”James’s mouth dropped open in shock. “Black! You never said that.”“I know. Does it make a difference?”“Uh— well — uh — I don’t know,” James stammered. “You should have told me.”“I know, but it never came up.”“Right, I thought we were being honest with each other. You know you were keeping it from me,” James said with disappointment.“All right, yes I was. I’m sorry. I didn’t lie to you, I just didn’t tell you everything. I mean, I didn’t know how you would react.”“That’s no excuse.”“I know. I’m so sorry. I should have told you.”“Damn, if my mother ever found out — I don’t want to think about that.”“What’s the difference? If your mother found out I was fucking another man, any man, she would go ballistic anyway.”“Yeah, but she comes from a long line of southern segregationists. Something like this would kill her.”Vicky thought that might not be a bad outcome, but she said, “I know, but there is no reason she should ever know.”“Oh the contrary, if you. After my minister husband died,he said what he saw that night has burned in his memory ever since. He is a professional videographer and an industrial designer who createsall kinds of sets and techno toys so that he can, as he puts it,“Capture that orgasmic demon inside me fighting to be set free.” Can you imagine a minister’s wife having a demon secretly living insideher for 35 years of marriage? I met my husband as I was beginning my novitiate at the DominicanConvent of Saint Jude in 1980. He was older than I and was attendinghis last year at New Orleans Baptist Seminary. As a Postulate I thoughtI had “let go” of my needs of the outside. But that all changed whenI met my future husband.We first met on a farm where we both were working to pay our way through school. It was hot that year in Alabama, as it always was; but in mid-July of 1980 it was on week 2 of +100 degree weather on the farm.Since we were in the ministry, we were frankly quite taken aback by howpathetically little.
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