”“Sorry,” said the genie, “I’m not allowed to grant eternal life.”“OK, then, I want to die after the Liberals balance the budget and eliminate the debt.”“You crafty little bastard,” said the genie.These Are Compliments of John AA teenager had just gotten her learners permit, and her parents allowed her to drive them to church. After a hair raising ride, the mother got out of the car and said “thank you”.“Any time” the daughter said.The mother replied “I was talking to GOD”.An efficiency expert concluded his lecture, by advising that this should not be done at home.“Why not?” asked a member of the audience.“I watched my wife routine making numerous trips to the stove, table, the refrigerator and cabinets, often carrying one item at a time. I said ‘Honey’ why don’t you try carrying several items at once?”“Did it save time?” a audience member asked?“Actually yes it did. It used to take her 20 minutes to do the breakfast and now it only takes me 7.An older man not in the best of shape,. There must be at least one woman alive who is willing to recognize that her husband's needs are as important as at least some of the ten thousand things you have persuaded yourself you really must do. If there's no time left for me, then piss on me.Men don't really "need" sex, anyway. It says so in all the lesbian books."Come on, Honey. I'm so tired and can't possibly do the things I have to do tomorrow. Can't you wait for the weekend?" The weekend? The fucking weekend? I've been waiting for that fucking weekend for ten years. I've had it. That was the last fucking straw. If you were going to start putting my needs ahead of number 10,000, you could have done it long ago. I'm serious. You can have all the shit you seem to value more than you value me, but you can't have me any longer without starting to value me. I'll sleep on the couch tonight and find a hotel tomorrow. Enjoy your rest."I stomped out of the bedroom and headed for the family room.The rigid prick that had so desperately.
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