But perhaps it was her pride, her stubborn resolve not to be beaten by that wretched little student's blackmail. Perhaps it was the urgent necessity to reaffirm her basic morality, after having succumbed to this inexplicable temptation, for to keep quiet now would be essentially a condoning of the whole sordid mess. Whatever it was, Lisa had kept the dog with her, going around the school in a determined attempt to find out who its owner was. Once she knew, she could perhaps confront him -- or her -- and receive some partial satisfaction that way. But nobody she'd talked to knew... or would admit they did. So, ultimately, she'd had to leave the school grounds with the dog, promising herself that tomorrow she would call the animal pound and track the owner through the license tag that was attached to its leather collar.So the dog rode beside her, behaving as unconcerned as if it was her own pet and was used to the trip. And so, she grimly told herself, there would be no shrimp creole. It soon became audible. I stroked her hair and told her I loved her and that we hadn't done anything wrong. When she finally spoke she said, "I know Rick…it's not that…it's that…I lied." What do you mean mom." Oh God…baby… I lied about Bobby…he did touch me this way…I'm so sorry honey…I didn't want you think badly of me…I didn't want you not to want me…it only went on for a month or so…I ended it because I realized I was just confused and needy…it wasn't about the kind of love I feel now…don't hate me baby…I love you…I had to tell you the truth; I didn't want this to be between us…say something."I had frozen up. I was angry and confused. How could I ever trust anything she said or did from now on? Even though I was nineteen and thoughts about sex took up just about my whole day, it wasn't enough. I loved her and wanted her to…I didn't know exactly but I certainly didn't want her to bring Bobby back into my thoughts when I had just gotten rid of him. So I was right about her fucking.
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