You know I wouldlet you slide on the rent while you were between jobs and I'd even helpyou out if things got really bad for you."This was a new offer and I was a little taken aback. She must've noticedand continued,"Look, hon, you're a genius; I've lived with you long enough to know that.You're wasting away at that company; you're so fed up with everything atthe end of the day that you don't have time to enjoy the money you earn.Trust me; you'd be much happier if you left that job." Billie, I know. But it wouldn't be responsible of me to just leave; I'vemade a commitment to the company. Besides, I couldn't leave one jobwithout having another one lined up. I mean, I appreciate your offer tohelp out, but I could never ask you to do that; it just wouldn't beright." But you're not asking me Aaron. I offered."I smiled, "It amounts to the same thing Billie. If I had another joblined up it would be different, but I can't just let you subsidize my ownirresponsibility. Of course," I. Gloria was my best mate; there was no doubt about it. She wasalways there for me when I needed her and during the weeks we had shared ahouse together we had become accustomed to each others ways and littlefoibles. It was almost like being a married couple!An internal explosion went off in my head like a flash of light. Now Iknew why I wasn't able to build any long-term relationships with otherpeople; I was in love with Gavin/Gloria! But which one did I love? Was itthe boy or the girl; or both? And was the "me" that was in love "KT" or"Katy"? Oh this was wonderful and awful at the same time. And what ifhe/she didn't feel about me the way I did about him/her? The thoughtsraced through my brain.I would be heading off home for the Christmas holidays in a couple ofday's time and I would need to keep my feelings secret until then. Ineeded time away from Gavin/Gloria to get my thoughts and feelings intosome sort of order. Clearly our relationship would need to be addressedand things brought.
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