"Now. To start, it was both of us who made the choices with Estrada. You said let him take you, and I wouldn't even listen, so if what happened was anybody's fault it was mine. And you bailed me out, and you did it by killing three men which I know has been eating you away, so now let's start talking sensibly."I shook my head in awe at this wonderful woman I'd married."Go back to basics, for openers," she continued. "You say Spook tells you nobody seems to know—that you're actually Jack Heyward, that is. Richard told you, based on his knowledge of Estrada, that it seemed likely to him, too. Right?" Well ... right, I guess," I said."You guess? Or it's what they said?" It's what they said," I admitted."OK, then. Now, they could be wrong. Spook was, about Estrada last time, wasn't he?" Yeah," I told her. "And that's exactly what's 'eating me away, ' as you put it. Suppose he is? Suppose somebody else out there knows about Carstairs being Heyward, and knows what Heyward can do—is. The pool was... well, a pool. It had water in it, albeit slightly dirty. The pool chairs and common areas were dirty as well. It took me a week to muster the courage to go out to the pool as I was dreading meeting new people. I made sure to lay my towel down over the chair as there were brown stains all over it. Even though I had returned to work, my shifts were reduced. It was not ideal as they had taken away my Saturday night shifts when I made most of my money. The upside is I could now spend my Saturday afternoons at the pool. I was wearing my favorite purple bathing suit, but it was much tighter nowadays. Between the stress and drinking and lack of exercise, I had gained nearly fifteen pounds. While my boobs had grown with the weight, so had my stomach. I was now around one hundred and fifty pounds, likely more if I was being honest with myself. Luckily, the other residents and pool-goers weren't in the best shape either. The tenants were largely older child-less couples, but.
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