Mrs Claus had burned all the cookies. The elves were complaining about not getting paid for the overtime they had worked while making the toys. The reindeer had been drinking all afternoon and were dead drunk. To make matters worse, they had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and had crashed it into a tree. Santa was furious. “I can’t believe it! I’ve got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours – all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are on strike and I don’t even have a Christmas tree! I sent that stupid Little Angel out HOURS ago to find a tree and he isn’t even back yet! What am I going to do?” Just then, the Little Angel opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree and says, “Yo, fat man! Where do you want me to stick the tree this year?” And thus the tradition of an angel on top of the Christmas tree came to pass.✧ ✧ ✧This one is compliments of a friend of J & G.Roe Vs WadeA blonde in her. There must be spares somewhere.”“Do you still have the receipt?”She burst into tears again. “Oh God,” she said. “I really did everything wrong. I don’t deserve you. I cheated on you with Marsha, locked you up, did crazy things with... with complete strangers, and nearly got killed. I don’t deserve you.”Andy let her sob for a minute then handed her a tissue.“I guess I ought to lick you clean,” he said. “That’s how it’s supposed to be done, isn’t it. How do you feel?”“About the worst ever.”“You know what they say about hitting the bottom.”“What do they say?” she said.“Are you sure you’re at rock bottom? The worst you’ve ever felt?”“What?”“Let’s say I get this cage off, you’re too fragile to fuck like we would have done that night. If I fuck Marsha would you feel even worse?”Dead on queue Marsh appeared, naked, wearing her collar and cuffs.“Well?” she said, facing directly at Candy. “He deserves something.”It took a minute for Candy’s sobs to subside.“What do they say about rock bottom?.
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