The bear remover arrives and gets out of his van.He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, 12-gauge shotgun, and a mean heavily scarred old dog."What are you going to do?" the homeowner asks."I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and I'll knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat.When the bear falls off the roof, the dog is trained to grab his testicles and not let go.The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."He then hands the shotgun to the homeowner."What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner."If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."This one is compliments of Chuck...A young law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.Student: "Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?"Professor: "Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn't be a professor, would I?"Student: "OK. So I'd like to. First, they had to fly from San Francisco, their closest international airport, to Taipei in Taiwan. They had three hours of waiting before they even got on the plane due to airport security. After nearly fourteen hours in the economy seats, they arrived. Four hours later, they flew to Bali. This was a five-and-a-half-hour flight.Bambi had them booked into a hotel at the airport and they both crashed for seven of the almost eleven-hour layover. Then it took nearly five hours to get to a hot, humid Townsville.They had to take a taxi to reach the domestic airport and then sit around for another three hours, before finally getting onto a smaller plane, which got them to Winton at around one o’clock in the afternoon.As they exited the plane, the thirty-eight-degree, hot, dry heat, blasted them and it was only supposed to be spring in Winton. He now wished he had changed out of his suit as Bambie had recommended.Forty-five hours after leaving home by his clock, they had arrived, yet he had.
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