Miriam and I were still a married couple but neither of us was anywhere near ready to resume sexual relations.My mother, of course, gave me her free and unsolicited advice, couched in her own version of 'Toddyism'. "You should just go in 'er bedroom an' get into bed wiv 'er. She's yer wife an' she 'as to allow yer conjugular rights."I thought if I did ever try to force myself on Miriam then 'jugular' could well be involved—mine."Did my father ever try to assert his conjugal rights after you and he had had a row?" 'E weren't that stupid to try, an' anyway I locked the bedroom door." She smiled to herself in reflection. "An' I dosed 'is tea with senna pod, which kept 'is Khyber Pass on the kharzy an' 'is mind off rumpty pumpty!"You probably don't need me to translate 'Khyber Pass'?I had started attending Salisbury College of Further Education while still at Reading. In fact I had already taken and passed the first module of Spanish A level GCSE before being posted to Bulford. The camp. You ate so much that the quality was of no concern."Marie looked at us questioningly. I sighed."Marie, when my parents died in that accident last year, you probably remember that I lived here for a while."She nodded and waited for more."Back then, my aunty decided that it was her responsibility to take care of me, and that included the cooking. After three days, I threatened to escape and join the Foreign Legion. She did not talk me for two weeks after that, but Beth here kissed me and promised all kinds of services for taking the heat." I heard that!"My aunty. I frowned. I guessed I was again the one to take the heat. For some reason, both Marie and Beth found the situation much more funny than I did.Later, I had to admit that her cooking was actually quite good. Also, she had to admit that I had done some good work, keeping Marie at school. I guessed that made us even. Later, back in our home (and after a very nice lovemaking session!); Marie asked me what it was with me and my.
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