I don’t know,” Paul stuttered nervously, wrapping himself tighter in Frankie’s dirty blanket.I stopped to study my colleague and he did the same to me. Our eyes locked and then I saw it... For fuck’s sake! He’s got that same goddamned look of trauma I’d seen in others who’d had close calls on the trails. I hated that look for it made a man useless to the rest of us.“It’s okay if you want to avoid the river,” I offered reassuringly. “Nobody will hold it against you, but you still have to pull your weight.”“I understand,” Paul said with his mouth but his body language sung a different tune.This filled me with concern for I’d been on cattle drives where men had close calls. In fact, on my last trip a drover fell off his horse and got trampled by the herd. Miraculously the poor bastard was unhurt but shook uncontrollably nonetheless and refused to go back out that afterwards. None of us knew what to do so we let him drive along in the goddamned Chuck Wagon.That had to be a mistake for. A guy like this Samir, a leader, dangerous and all that, a terrorist especially, that would have appealed to her as a fellow insurgent. So, yes, it was very personal and you should take it that way. Be offended by it. Insulted by it.“And then remember, SHE was the crazy one, the one who had the issues, not you. Take her insults as a badge of honor. She rejected you because you were not a crazy, wild-eyed fanatic like her. I chose you because your taste and your backbone had clearly begun to improve, because you had finally had enough of her bullshit and had the courage to take a step for yourself.“Just remember that, honey, and that you’re a far better man on your worst day than this Samir guy was on his best. It was Madeline who lacked taste, decency, and common sense, not you or me. If what attracted her to men was a vicious, myopic, and ruthless nature, then your lack of appeal to her is the best sign of your own basic human decency and integrity.“Also remember, even while she was.
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