I wasn't interested in being a big guy with them. I wanted to hurt that bitch. That's all I cared about. I just wanted to hurt her. Nothing else mattered. But hurting her that way did something to me. It turned me on somehow, and pretty soon I was wanting more of the same. It wasn't long before I was looking around for some duplicate action.And it was within the next year that I saw another perfect mark. It happened one night when I was cruising around and I dropped by a drive-in hamburger place. A cute little carhop waited on me. She had black hair in a simple flip and big brown eyes and a real happy smile and a turned-up nose. And talk about a figure! She wore a tight white blouse and tighter-than-tight black capris, and the only word you could think of to describe it was Fuck. Just that: she was the picture of a solid beautiful fuck. I made up my mind to make it, but definitely.But for all her pretty smiles and her flirtatious eyes, she played hard-to-get. I didn't even get her. Let him go, so you can fight.’ I wince at his words. It was true, Caden had left and wouldn’t care if I were dead or if I’d found someone else. I hadn’t spoken to him since the day he had told me that he wanted to end it. He called it being pragmatic. I have despised that word ever since. Since when do feeling and love have anything to do with pragmatism.. I couldn’t blame my brother for his anger. I loved him and I was causing him so much pain. All my life I had hated the feel of doctor offices and needles, but now I felt nothing. I’d had enough things stuck in me that I felt like a pin cushion. All I wanted were my memories. That was like cupping water to a thirsty mouth, as if my memories of being happy with Caden were enough to heal me. He had been my morning star and I had been the east waiting for him to rise with his brilliance, bring me joy and happiness, the peace of a new day. Caden had been my personification of love. He had danced through my gardens and plucked my.
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