You’re reading this and nodding and laughing.13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn’t a #9 on this list.AND! NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.This one is compliments of Reltney McHere’s another one, about Little Johnny.Little Johnny was in first grade, and his reputation had preceded him.Today’s class was phonics, and everybody was to identify a word that began with the letter on the card the teacher displayed.She held up an “A”, and hands hit the air. Little Johnny was waving his hand in the air, and the teacher thought, “Hmmm. Anus. Asshole. NO, I don’t think I want to call on Little Johnny.”So, teacher called on Little Betty. “‘A’, Apple. Apple starts with ‘A’”. She sat down.Next card, “B”, brought about a storm of volunteers, prominently featuring Little Johnny, waving both arms. Again, teacher pondered. “‘B’. Hmmm. Bastard.. "She was quiet all afternoon and then at dinner that evening, she lowered the boom. I was getting too serious about you and you were leaving in the fall. You were like all men, you'd wine and dine me and after I gave in you'd leave me barefoot and pregnant and you'd be in University Park. You'd made it plain that you wanted to leave Ridgemont and never return. I was too young. I needed perspective, and there were, after all, many more suitable matches."I felt myself getting angry, but remembering my promise to let Missy 'get it all out, ' I forced myself to keep my mouth shut."I couldn't believe it!" Missy continued, a bit of heat now in her voice. We must have argued for hours. Grandma even agreed with Momma. You have to believe me, John. It didn't matter what I said. In the end, Momma said, 'as long as you are living under my roof, young lady, you will do what I say.'"I stared at her. A tear trickled down her cheek. "So what does this mean, Missy?"Missy gulped and her lower lip.
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