I feel panic rising within me like a wave rolling over a beach. Like sand covered by the oncoming wave, all my insecurities, all my daily troubles disappear and there is only the fear and excitement of dying and an increasing desperation for one more lungful of air but nothing comes into my lungs. The hockey mask comes closer to my face and I feel like screaming but no sound escapes. I try to thrash around but my limbs are encased, trapped, immobile. I begin to relax, to accept the inevitable, to accept that my destiny belongs to the pitiless man in the hockey mask. I take one last long look at my friends gathered around me to witness my catharsis and I close my eyes and leave my body. I open my eyes and look down. In front of me I see a cup of black coffee. Next to it is a glass ashtray with half a cigarette leaning inside it. The end of the cigarette is burning. I try to move and discover that there is nothing binding my limbs. I can move freely. I reach out my left hand and pick. Daddy look after me ’cause he a angel and he love me.’ Dani said a swift, silent prayer that Julie would allow Sean to hold onto this belief. To her relief, Julie didn’t argue with Sean. ‘That’s right,’ she said. ‘Your daddy’s in Heaven now.’ The look she gave Dani said that she really believed that Ben was in Hell. ‘I’ll take the box out to your car,’ Jason told Julie. He carried the box out, Julie following with Sean in her arms. She paused to allow Dani and Jason to kiss the little boy, then put him into the car. ‘You can write if you want,’ she said. ‘I’ll let him have the letters. But I wouldn’t count on seeing him anytime soon.’ ‘You never know,’ Dani said smoothly. As soon as Julie drove away, Dani started punching and kicking the wall of the house. Jason put his arms around her from behind to restrain her. ‘Dani, stop it!’ he ordered. ‘You’re going to hurt yourself! Think about the girls. Do you want them to see you bleeding in the emergency room?’ Dani turned to him, and,.
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