“In a different universe, it might have happened. But not in this one.”“No, not in this one. I’ll tuck that idea safely away in my fantasy life where it belongs.”I closed the door and got into the shower. As I was drying off, Mrs. Spencer came out of the sauna and showered. I grabbed my robe walked back to my room to dress, not bothering to put the robe on to walk down the hall. When I dressed, I went downstairs and made a pot of coffee and poured two cups. Mrs. Spencer came and sat with me to drink her coffee.“How are things with Kara?” Mrs. Spencer asked. “You’ve brought her here quite a lot.”“They’re good. We’re down to less than four months before she moves to Chicago with me. And, barring a kick in the balls from that ruthless bitch, Fate, we’ll probably get married in 1985 or 1986, depending on where I end up finding a job.”“So similar to Pete and Melanie, I guess.”“Pretty much,” I agreed. “We’re more or less on the same course, though Kara won’t be going to graduate school.. Miraculously I had not been hurt much more than a few bruises and a shit load of mental anguish. My girlfriend’s brother died instantly. She, however, had not been so lucky. I sat there with her as she cried in my lap. I had never felt so powerless in my life. What the fuck had I done to deserve this? What had she done? What had her brother done? I had no answers. As I tried to move on with my life I realized I could not focus on the real world anymore. What had been there for me was not there anymore. After the accident, I had somehow lost my ability to socialize. I couldn’t talk to people. I couldn’t be around people. And I thought I had escaped the accident whole. How arrogant of me. I thought about suicide, but realized I couldn’t do that to myself. No matter how depressed I was, I was too afraid of God. So one day I came across an ad in a magazine about the Army, and I realized what I had to do. This was what was waiting for me. This was my solution to peace. This could make me.
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