Before we sat down and talked it out, I'd traced the number through British Telecom's recall system and spent almost half an hour talking to their mother, like me she was crying and I actually felt for her!She told me how it was for her then, how she'd wanted to keep the twins, how she'd cried when they went to the home and how she'd never been allowed to trace them."How did you then?" I asked softly,She demurred, saying that she'd rather tell me face to face tomorrow,"I Gather that you're just sixteen Chris" Yes?" I bridled, "And what's your point?" There isn't one Chris, none at all" she said and I detected almost a sob in her voice, "Can we continue this conversation tomorrow please, you've no idea how tired I am, or how many miles I've travelled to find my daughters"I told the girls this and they listened in silence,"You mustn't judge her" I said and Cassie squeezed my hand, "You at least get the chance to meet your mother, me and Cassie will never do that"It was those words that. ” I relied, choking out the words. “I’m afraid Wade won’t love me later on. He’ll find out about things I’ve done and he’ll despise me.” “Well... maybe it’s for the best.” My grandfather responded, giving me a warm hug. That night and the next several nights I found myself unable to sleep. I started catnapping during the day whenever I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I felt tired all the time and my eating habits had turned to snack foods and soft drinks. I was smoking constantly, putting up with the chronic headaches the excessive nicotine was causing. I couldn’t erase thoughts of Wade from my mind, no matter how hard I tried. A week past, then two before I started to recover. It took awhile to get back to being my old self. My writing had suffered terribly. I had a deadline to meet for the first book in my new series. Everything I tried to write seemed gibberish. I set aside the writing instead of wasting my time. At least, I had a handle on the ranching affairs. Beef prices had.
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