? Sometimes I don't know and I doubt I ever did. "Love" is a word, not a feeling... And can you describe feelings by saying out loud what is going inside you? I also do not know the answer to that question. You live and you feel, that's all I know and care about.I have had my share of lovers, male and female, but never felt alive, really alive as you read in those internet sex fantasy stories. Lovers come and go, being swept in and away like ocean waves. I try to reach for a deep feeling but reality sneaks upon you and you get lost, you don't know the way anymore.There was an exception to this steadfast emptiness: a girl I admired immensely, a ray of light piercing the darkness and shining on my "frail" feminine body and my willowy soul. She was strong in every sense of the word, and I fantasized about her mouth covering me with kisses, leaving me helpless and senseless, every day of my life.God, I wanted her!Snow was falling the day I saw her for the first time. She seemed a. She knew I would be safer, and better off away from the hamlet, even if you were a complete jerk, than I if I stayed because someday my father would lose control again." Her eyes flashed when she mentioned her father. There was some serious fear, and resentment working behind those eyeballs.Martha looked sad, scared, and angry all at the same time. "When I thought Caleb got me pregnant, I was thrilled, because it meant getting out from under my father's control. When I found out I was marrying you, I nearly ran away. I believed Caleb and I were meant to be together, but that was before I found out what a marriage was."You ruined everything, Noah, because you didn't act like THEM! When you decided to treat us like people, instead of property, you ruined it for every single person in the hamlet, because they still act like jerks, and you treat us like people."She smiled, sadly and continued. "My mother LET my father give me away, knowing I was in love with Caleb. THANK GOD she did,.
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