In my youth, I had been in situations where I might have gone with a man and had always been too inhibited. After the fact, the idea had always excited me. I lost count of the number of times I had masturbated, thinking about what might have happened. I had regretted these missed opportunities to experiment ever since then and had promised myself that, if another chance ever came up, I would not be so timid.Yet here I was again: not grabbing the bull by the horns, as it were. So I steeled myself and told Mark that I really did want to meet up and live out some of the things we had talked about that made us both so excited. I think Mark was in a similar frame of mind and had been waiting for me to decide for him. He replied that he was into it, as well. We made an appointment. A date. I pushed the guilt and inhibitions aside and allowed myself to be thrilled by the thought of going on a date with a man. We decided to meet in the bar of my hotel and see where things might go. No. The movement helped to get my mind back on its track and to keep my eyes from becoming focused on a single person. "Everyone of your surely noticed the carnal topics of the book. Compared to the literature we encountered in earlier years, which was mostly religious or economic in nature, this is quite a step, and it is exemplary for its time. Laclos, DeSade, Diderot, Rousseau. These are some of the more prominent authors of that time, and what they all had in common was that they introduced eroticism and sexuality into their writings without any flowery language trying to obscure that fact."A relieved sigh almost escaped me when I realized that I was back on track. "They could only publish their books with the support of the nobles, though, because it was, for one, rather expensive, and, for two, a commoner without protection may have suffered the wrath of the church for indecent behavior. Decency however was not a concern for the nobles, they had the church bought and made their own.
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