******I feel like some kind of zombie. I'm just going through the motions, notliving at all. I guess it doesn't really matter. I've kinda stoppedtalking to God, since He doesn't seem to listen anyway. The other day Iactually screamed at Him, I was so mad. But even that didn't changeanything. Just how long will my torment last?******My knee feels better, which is okay, I guess. I got to thinking aboutwhat happened with my dad and realized it would be pretty selfish of meto kill myself and leave my body for my mom to find after she's alreadylost him. Its getting close to Christmas and the lights look pretty and even thesnow somehow looks better.I don't know if I'm any better, but I'm goingto try and survive.*****Merry Christmas, Diary!It was actually a nice Christmas. John is just glowing with his new-found faith. I'm still struggling with mine, but I'm happy for him. Asfor my gender stuff, well I have a confession. I've been crossdressing,"borrowing" my mom's stuff. I don't. "You're so hard." she said. But my mind was focusing on the beautiful sight of my cock and her feet. "You...kn-know I'm...gonna cum soon...right?" was all I could think of to mutter. "Yes, cum all over my toes...You know you want to..." "Oh yeahhh." "What's my grade, professor?" "C?" "Is that all my feet are worth?" she asked coyly. "You tell me." I countered, "Touch yourself for me, Debbie. Show me that you're enjoying this as much as I am." She smiled and unbuttoned her shorts and unzipped her zipper. She slid her right hand down under her white silk panties. Soon, she began making fuckfaces...silent 'ooh's' and 'ahh's' as she half-closed her eyes. "W-what's my grade now?..." she asked in a breathy voice. "B?" She withdrew her hand from her panties, and reached up to touch my lips. I eagerly licked her fingers, tasting her warm muskiness from her digits. I pumped harder. "Are you sure that's my grade?" "Oh hell...I'll give you anything you want..." I moaned as I knew I was.
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