I was thinking about the amount of boy-cum I used up flipping throughthose magazines, not even desiring the women, but desiring what it musthave felt like to them to have men wanting you. I can't believe I wasso blind to all of these signs for so long. Playing it up, dating girls(what a joke), being a guy. It's just not ... me. I'm a high heeledparty girl and there ain't no way around it. Who could ever think thata reaction to magazine would have started me down this path? Granted, Irealize it's more than that, much more and it comes from deep inside,but I have to admit, they played a role. Larry Flynt ... who knew?Everything around me now is feminine; from my clothing to my skin to thecandles in my bathroom. I remember the first dick I sucked like it wasyesterday. I remember the first time I put on a wig and saw itcompletely transform my face into something else. I remember the veryfirst time I wore breast forms. Bought at the [one and only local tgirlshop] and they were C. "Oh, shit yeah," said another. "I just saw her at the mall." What about her?" Jack inquired as innocently as he could."All of a sudden she's got a body on her! I can't believe she's in what ... seventh grade?" the first boy remarked."Sixth!" said the second. "Oh man, Taylor Young has tits. Out of nowhere! Jack, you must know this. Aren't you like, at their house all the time?" Uh, yeah, I guess," Jack replied, hoping the conversation wouldn't last too long."Doesn't she look hot?" the first boy asked."I don't know," Jack said. "I mean, yeah, I see her all the time. I guess I haven't really noticed." Well pay attention, Man!"Tommy returned to the table with the drinks, which Jack hoped would put an end to the discussion of Taylor's body. He wasn't quite sure why it made him uncomfortable. He agreed with them about her body becoming something worthy of ogling. But he didn't feel like talking about it among their group. Unfortunately, Tommy's return didn't have the effect Jack had hoped.
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