She grinned and said: ‘Oooh, I like your hugs.’ I looked at Zena and held my arms open. She bent forward to bring her head close to mine and we hugged. She looked very happy. I wanted that girl. Oh, how I wanted her. I wanted them both. We all headed out. Call . That night I called Barbara. I explained my situation: That I found myself in pure lust for Zena and had no idea why or what was going on. I said: ‘This is totally crazy. I’ve never felt lust for a girl like this ever. Here I am in my seventies with five wonderful loves already draining me dry. Why should I be reacting like this? I like to think of myself as at least somewhat spiritually aware. People who are spiritually aware should not find themselves caught in lust. I love you, Connie, Joyce, Janet and Ann plus Cindy, your mother and Fil. I can’t say I love Zena but I sure want to screw her. This should not be happening. But it is and I do not know what it means or how to handle it.’ I asked her just who Zena was. She. .. and I have taught you it's a bad thing not to respect privacy, and it's a bad thing not to knock before entering someones room... especially the bathroom"Finally he turned around, his eyes meeting mine, ogling me. I had never before in my life felt such a shame and guilt as his young and innocent eyes met mine, looking hurt and somewhat betrayed."It was because I wanted to know. I wanted to see if it was true... true that you were... that you were doing it with John."His face turned red, showing the blushing as he said that."But I never expected it to be true..."Now, once again I felt the devastating feelings overflow my body, hopelessness, disgrace and pain."... it is... and I can't deny it... what... what you saw... is true... but I am ashamed of it, I don't know what to say to you... or what to do... I never wanted you to see me this way... Ohh Tim... why did you have to open that door..."I could feel the tears fill my eyes... why... why did he have to see me... I had taken.
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