Joined up with us old, grimy horse soldiers. We was in pretty bad shape. General Early, he come along and threw us at them Yankees down around Lynchburg and Charlottesville. An' them boys, them cay-dets, why they did jus' fine as peach fuzz. Marched in line in them fancy uniforms, in step too. Right into canister they did. Fired in volley, too. Bluebellies ran for it. Ran. Haw! Clean out'a the Valley. Course, they did burn the boys' school down." Wainder paused and spat again with little success. He stuck the cigar stub back in his mouth. "Cain't always tell how good a soldier is by whether or not he shaves." He rubbed his chin and smiled.Seth felt good for the first time that afternoon, felt some of the praise of young soldiers had been for him and believed it was deserved. Here he was facing men with Springfield or Harpers Ferry rifle muskets, men wearing his brother's uniform, facing them bravely astride a rebel's horse, doing the rebels' work, earning a gold coin.Seth didn't say. Everything I owned was in ‘her’ name because it was easier that way, well at least it had seemed easier at the time, but as my stomach tightened I realized it had been easier for ‘her’, not me. It was easier to keep me down that way, keep me in my place. I could either give life a chance, or I could bite the bullet yet again and deal with the snide remarks when I walked back into the house. I could sleep in our bed or I could sleep in the car, it was the only thing in both of our names and I wasn’t sure which would be colder in the middle of December. The tears started to fall as I continued on through the snow, painfully aware of the numbness in my toes as the snow melted into the holes of my boots. I could almost hear my mother telling me to stop crying before my eyes froze shut, but I wanted them to be frozen. I wanted everything to be frozen so I could stop feeling. I didn’t want to feel the pain or rejection anymore and I had nobody to turn to. ‘She’ had made sure of that over.
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