Dianne had complained that there were too many pick up trucks in the parking lot which meant that it was full of strange men wanting to ogle her. But Debbie eventually got her in and the two quickly found the dildo aisle. Dianne was amazed at the number and variety available. Everything from monster sizes to rabbits to vibrating eggs. After some debate she picked out a flexible one that was about Gary ’s size (according to Debbie) and vibrated. She also picked out a slightly smaller personal vibrator in the traditional rabbit shape. Before they headed to the register, Debbie brought Dianne to the back of the store where a doorway led to the video area. They wandered the aisles reading and giggling at the titles. “I think there’s something here for every perversion,” Dianne remarked in an amazed voice. “Oh yeah,” Debbie seconded, “and lot’s you’ve never thought of as well. Come back here and you’ll see where the real perverts hang out.” She directed them. She’d never been taught that “colored people” were dirty or anything. But they’d kept her separate from them, and that shaped her thinking more than she wanted to admit.And so it wasn’t too troubling when she realized that her husband carried a hidden but more virulent variety of prejudice. He had a very real animus toward all sorts of non-white ethnicities, but black people were the ones he hated the most. Still, he didn’t talk about it much because they had little reason to in their suburban false paradise. They almost never encountered any, so it was easy for her to overlook the occaisian “N” bomb when he’d drop it.As she drifted off to sleep that night she lay on her mattress on the floor of her bedroom and wondered what her ex-husband would have to say about a black man helping her unpack the next day. She was pretty sure he’d hate it, which she liked. She was also pretty sure she didn’t know how she felt about it yet. She didn’t like that.Without any curtains yet on her.
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