I was, only sixteen, Asian, he five years older, white.He’s the first man I kissed.Engaged with parent’s acquiescence on my seventeenth birthday, I gave my underage marriage consent, for security, to escape a dysfunctional family, because I didn't know how to say no. Engaged, he assumed control, ensured my virginity on the altar. A year later, we married, I just turned eighteen, he twenty-three. I’ve never known another man. Now twenty-five, I’m meeting my first real date. I’m being me, at last. Conversing with myself between stoplights, I rewrote my personal history to justify meeting a man, not my husband.Approaching Michael’s restaurant in Sunnyvale, our meeting place, however, my rationalized confidence dissipated, replaced with timid reality.I’m risking my marriage, family, my world. I should go home. I knew I wouldn't. I was adrift, on remote, led by a yearning set loose, something long-repressed, now free. I didn't know where or how it would end. What was I thinking? I. She never accepted his offer to come to his house where undoubtedly he would try and take her virginity. He had to be content for being seen with her at the community park, at school, and in the mall. Tony’s boys tried to get him to admit that she had slept him or other some nonsense, but he knew that if she got wind of it, she would break up with him and that his future employment – the corporate world or a pro ball contract – might be in jeopardy if word got out of an improper behavior. Alicia did promise Tony that he remained faithful, chaste, and in her good graces, he would be rewarded by her passionate acceptance of him as her man. Like all young girls, Alicia dreamt of a magical night – wedding for sure, perhaps even the senior prom – where she dressed in a beautiful gown, and then disrobed to show him her delicate lingerie, as he removed his tuxedo. Together they would declare their undying love, and she would give herself fully to him. The thought of being Tony’s princess,.
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