. attractive? Did I care?It was too big a decision to make right there and then. Putting the clothes away, I turned off the light and lay down to sleep."You think you know something," I told Shirley the next day at lunch, "you live your life one day and then with this one bizarre little fact, your entire perception of yourself is just? whacked." I don't get it," she said, "What are you saying?" That I'm not what you think I am. That I'm not what *I* think I am. I was never supposed to be this way." I was frantically gesturing with my hands. I hushed my tones as I explained, "I was, like? transformed at birth, into... into this."She still wasn't following."I wasn't supposed to be..." I leaned in closer and whispered, practically inaudibly, "a guy."Her eyes widened in confusion. "So?" she said, "so what? You are now, right? You've never, like, thought you weren't, right?" Yeah," I muttered, trailing off in thought, "but I don't know! This really screws things up! My parents. I heard myself sigh as he very gently played with it.“You like that? It is a beautiful one. I’d love to play with it and if you would let me suck it too”I was caught up in the lust and the feelings and I slowly reached for his. It was fat and my hand wouldn’t go right round it. But it was hot and hard and it sort of jerked and throbbed as I touched it. I heard him sigh and then suck his breath in. I felt good knowing I could do that to a man.“Oh you have wonderful hands kid, wonderful touch. God it feels so good”We did this to each other for a minute and then suddenly he stopped. I was devastated! I wanted it to go on. I rubbed his more and even lent forward to try to suck it a bit so he would start on mine again.“Hey slow down kid, slow down. It’s not safe in here. Look why not go back to mine and then we can do it and not get bothered and we will be safe. I have a car in the car park just outside”Now I had NEVER gone back with anybody because I thought it could be too risky to be.
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