"Good morning sweetheart." "Good morning Aunt Margaret." He answered with a smile. "How are you this morning?" "Fine. I'm hungry." "Good, we'll have breakfast in a few minutes." An appetite was a good sign. As always, he had dirtied and wet his diaper. Margaret scooped him up and put him on the dressing table. When he was cleaned up she took him in the bathroom for his sponge bath. "You've been such a good girl for Aunt Margaret the past few days. Tina's been talking about moving you out of the nursery soon." This was exactly what John had been hoping for. "I've been trying to be good." He had done everything he could to please them since Monday's experience. The last thing he wanted now was to misbehave. "I know you have honey." Margaret brushed his hair out. He no longer wanted it in pigtails. Margaret didn't style it for him the way Connie did. She just brushed it out every morning. "Let's weigh you and get you dressed. I have a new nightie for you. Tina bought it. [I had not thought about it in those terms exactly, but yes, I had been wondering]. The answer is that, at the time, I had no idea. A little bit of me blocked even the possibility, I may have been subconsciously ignoring the evidence, I really don’t know. But during the break up, hints were made – by Jim himself – that ‘I shouldn’t be trusting him anyway’, or phrases like ‘I don’t deserve you and Daisy, so it’s best if I go’. It transpired that he was making references to other liaisons which had happened over the years (even when I was pregnant with Daisy). Several years earlier, he’d seen a girl who lived in Reading, on and off, as his company sent him there for days at a time over a nine month period. It was Jim’s mother herself who told me this, by the way, she’d known all along. Didn’t think it was her place to say when we were together, but as we were splitting and she blamed Jim, she thought I ‘deserved to know’. Wish I didn’t to be honest. And then, one of his rugby mates.
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