.I wasn't even speeding, dammit!The smooth contralto voice of the officer still qualified as seductive even when she said "License, registration ... and CAP, please. What is your CAP score, by the way?"I told her "I recall it as 5.8" before sighing and fishing out the items she asked for by touch. She told me -- much later -- that no one she had ever asked qualified the answer with uncertainty. Most people knew it cold and wanted to project that they felt the score was important.This was, incidentally, the first time my CAP card had gotten any fresh air since it had been issued and interred into my wallet. She returned to the police cruiser while I sat there, wondering what was going on.All right, so I sat there, kind of blank, feeling a bit low, so I wasn't paying any attention when she walked back up to my window. "Sir, please come with me. I've got a tow truck coming to collect your van."Now, really, anyone who hasn't suffered from the kind of emotional roller-coaster I had been on. I started to realize that people weren't hanging up on me anymore whenRebecca called in to thank for me helping a new at risk client who neededhelp with food and rent money. Rebecca told me that this girl was scaredto call TWP but was happy to hear a friendly and supportive voice on theother end.WOW, I thought, I really made a connection with this woman caller, and shehad accepted me as a woman, as one of "us".It's so exciting for me to know that I am really starting to talk like awoman and do my job well. I'm even getting used to being called Beth bythe others at work, and no longer ignore them when they ask "Beth" forhelp with the copier or to get them coffee or take minutes for a boardmeeting!It's funny for me to think that I am starting to have some self-esteemabout my job and my life, even though it seems that I can only feel goodabout myself as a woman and not as a man.As the end of this semester was approaching, I was So Happy to be able tocall my mom back at home and tell her.
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