Matt and Iwere sitting around my room, just chatting with one another about thisand that."So was it worth it?" he asked."This?" I said, gesturing to my body with my old-woman hands. "Matt, Ineed to tell you something," my throat already tightening up.After I regaled him with the story of my afternoon escapades, leaving outsome of the more... sensual details. At first, he thought it was hilariousthat I got drunk with a couple of middle-aged ladies, but his smiledfaded when I got to the portion about the angry email I sent."Dude, what the fuck?" was all he could muster."Look, I know this sounds like a problem, but surely your mom wouldn'tsteal my body, right?" I said."She sounded pretty pissed in that response she sent you."This discussion continued on for quite some time. But, like the sayinggoes, worrying is like a rocking chair; it gives you something to do, butdoesn't get you anywhere. We decided I should write her back, redactingeverything I had previously said, and give her. She wasnt sure if the night people would be there (in fact she was almost sure they wouldnt be, and even if they were she wouldnt be able to see them unless they wanted her to), but it was all right if it was just the two of them. They could sing the songs and play the bone game, and shed repeat as many of the stories as she could remember, and Jim could lie in the grave with her and–oh, it would be extra perfect. She realized now couldnt love Jim the way she wanted until he was part of the perfect nighttime world. When he was, hed know the real her. And everything would be the way it ought to be. She thought about it, but she didnt do it. She was afraid that it would be too much for him. That he was too…human. If he reacted with horror, it would be the same as rejection. And that was something Amina could never stand for. In the end it didnt matter. The next Valentines Day was the day of Jims funeral. Shed woken up one morning to find him already dead for hours. His heart just.
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