I did some no resistance work and watched Sheila on the mat. A gym trainer took one look and kept going. They ignored me, which says all that is necessary about the quality of the establishment.Sheila did some stretching, then began something resembling martial arts katas. It was mesmerizing. I tended to stop my own workout to watch. Eventually, I moved from the elliptical machine to the weights, so I would not be distracted. After about half an hour, I was told the gym would close in thirty minutes, so I threw in the towel. That was when I made the biggest mistake of my life.Sheila:I was glad to see George and Trina at the airport. Trina was letting George take the lead, which said interesting things. Seeing Kiku was a bonus. She told me she would try to be here, but was not sure she could juggle her schedule. I introduced everyone. Kiku and George were soon conversing in Japanese. Trina looked a little put out, but I waved her off. This would not end well for George.There was. .. she didn't make it ... oh, Penelope!"It didn't really sink in then. I knew tremendous loss and anguish in slow motion. I felt like I was out of my own body, watching myself cry, watching myself give in to the grief. I saw myself from a distance, the warmth of my mother's embrace around someone else's body. I could see my father crying, eyes red and filled with tears as he wrapped his arms around us.Even as I felt the sadness, I stood apart from it, not allowing myself to believe it true, not letting myself accept that my mother was telling the truth. "No!" I screamed. "No! She's not dead! No!" Oh, Penelope ... I'm so, so sorry..." Mom cried into my neck. "I'm so sorry..." No!" I screamed that word over and over until my throat had become too thick to speak. My eyes were on fire, my body thick, my mind heavy, and I felt utterly lost, not myself.We went to the hospital where she'd been taken a while later, all of us still crying. I was a zombie following blindly, shadowing my parents.
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