"Why won't you believe me?" You are fooling yourself." I was shaking now, my legs refusing to be still; I forced them to, as much as I could, hoping that Vivian would not notice my nervousness. I almost backed up then; but something in me—either the desire, or the fear of losing her, or maybe just a senseless attempt to extend my fall for a little, before crashing into the ground, before losing her for good—made me try harder."No, you are," I said, somewhat harshly. "You are afraid of love. You are afraid of having someone who adores you, whose life depends on your breathing, whose love is unfathomable. You are afraid of being in love, because you would lose some of your independence, because you could get hurt. You prefer the stars, which stay up there in the sky for millions of years, unchanged during your lifetime. They are safe. They are too far, too abstract, unreachable, hidden behind an equation and a telescope." I felt sad and angry; I felt that, if I couldn't have her, then. Therewere two beds in here, a couple desks and a closet. The walls werecovered with pictures of girls from beer ads. Ryan locked the door andthen brought me over by his bed. "I'm going to help you out of thatsweater now," he said."My sweater," I repeated. It was a nice sweater. I'd found this sweater at the mall whileshopping with my mom. Well-she wasn't really my mom. She just thoughtshe was my mom. It was all part of the faerie's spell. Why was Itaking it off, anyway?Ryan grabbed at the bottom of the sweater and began to pull it up. Imoved my hand to stop him. "No," I said. Then he looked into my eyes. I felt my mind getting clouded again. This was a spell, I realized. Itried to fight it. I struggled, to keep focused, but it was so hard.That's when the faerie popped into the room with her characteristicshower of green sparks. She waved her wand, showering me with moregreen sparks. Suddenly, everything was clear once again."Hey!" I said, stepping back and pulling.
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