Not possible because of me. Terry was patient. Tender and always there for me. That is when it started, my reluctance to have sex of any kind. I mean not even a hand job for my poor husband. I was consumed by my own failure. I could never have a child of my own. Terry would never have a son. Why even both going through the motions? Why, well why anything anymore? Not realizing what I was doing at the time I quickly alienated my beloved. The hurt I was causing directly stemmed from my own selfishness. Allowing my pain to isolate me from the one person who cares the most for me is what makes me share this now. Time elapsed. Days became weeks, in turn becoming months and finally two years passed. We had no intimate relations of any sort. I knew Terry masturbated had even found some of his porn. At the time providing me with even more of a reason to avoid my husband and his dirty cock. By now I knew we were through with each other, our marriage relationship was finished but I expected. I ... I'm sorry about the mess. I'll clean it up."I look down. She's right, the kitchen floor is wet. But it's not pee. Mygawd, her water just broke. She's going into labor. "How long has thisbeen happening," I ask. "How far apart are the contractions?" Contractions?" she wonders as I seat her gently into a chair. Doesn'tshe know?"The sharp pains. In your belly. How long?" All night," she says. "I didn't want to wake you up." She ... she didn'twant to wake me up ... she's a hell of a lot braver than I'd be.Now it makes sense, the quizzical looks, the odd way she's been holdingher belly, the fleeting glimpses of pain. She has no idea what labor is.And I've been too stupid to recognize it.But every woman knows about labor. We talk endlessly about having babies,about the pain, about how to handle it. My mother told me aboutchildbirth. Prepared me for my role in the natural rhythm. Even though Ican't seem to conceive, it's part of growing up female.This girl ... look at her. The pain is.
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