It was a classy posting amid the no-strings-attached pleas for one night of animal sex, or the ads by women who said they were looking for a relationship, but, in fact, were just looking for a man to validate them with empty compliments designed for one purpose — to get them out of their clothes. They both knew what would happen: They would have sex, part ways and move on to the next ‘love at first e-mail response.’ With each conquest, they never felt better. Some felt worse. But she was no player. Dozens of would-be suitors had responded to her post, but none had succeeded. Maybe she was too picky. Maybe she was looking for something — romance — that just wasn’t going to happen in the internet whorehouse that Craig’s List had become. Heck, maybe she should just give in and have empty sex with a stranger. Who knows? Maybe the sex would be good … and Lord knows, she could use some good sex. Like right now. She sat on the sofa in front of the television. Everyone else in the house was. .. IT! We have been invaded by a bunch of 21st century pirates! There's been a rumor for years back at home that many of the disappearances in the Atlantic Ocean near the Florida coast were the result of pirate operations. Well, we have the living proof! Swift Rat and a couple of his scouting pupils went to make a regularly scheduled inspection of Landing Site #1 and ran head on into the pirates. They barely got away, but one of the two boys was captured by the pirates, so we knew that they would soon know how to find us.We were almost certain to be attacked, and we were anxious to rescue the boy before he was killed. Swift Rat and his remaining pupil had raced to our town to report the encounter so that we would not be caught unprepared. We immediately put our defense plan into action while Swift Rat led a group of five back to Landing Site #1 to try to rescue Tommy, the captured boy.The pirates had AR-15s and at least two M2.50 caliber machine guns, so we had to take them seriously..
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